Your Journey to Shaping Young Minds
1 day ago
Monday, February 4, 2013
Help!!!
O.K. everyone I need some serious help. Our sweet daughter Emma really struggles sometimes and I am at a loss as to what to do. Bedtime is at 8:00 p.m. in our house, and believe me I have tryed 7:00. So we have a nighttime routine and Emma gets in her bed at 8:00. She is at the age where she likes to pull every trick in the book to get out of bed, and we try to be consistent with expectations, but it seems like she never actually falls asleep until 9:30 or 10:00. This would be a problem in itself, but she will still wake up at 6:00, 6:30 every morning. It doesn't matter when she goes to sleep she WILL NOT sleep in. She will usually still take a midday nap for 2 hours, but she struggles going down for those as well. I wouldn't be so concerned except for I KNOW she is not getting enough sleep. She is cranky and irritable and easily emotional, especiallly when she doesn't get a nap. We have done Baby Wise sleep training with our kids since they were little, and they have never co-slept. They have always had a bedtime routine, but Emma just really struggles. This past week she has also been waking up around midnight just crying and moaning. I know she is overly tired and I just don't know what to do about it. I have tried giving her melatonin, but haven't felt good about that since some nights she wakes up with night terrors when I give it to her. If she's in a new place or gets riled up at all it takes her forever to wind down. This is just one thing on my mind right now and I don't want to always be the mean mommy who forces her kid to stay in her bed for a nap, but at the same time I know she needs her sleep. SUGGESTIONS please. I know every child is different, but especially for those family members who have experience raising children with attention and hyperactivity I would appreciate some advice. Sometimes it is just so hard being patient and I just want to do what is best for her. O.K. so I am seriously rambling, but just needed to get that off my chest.
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6 comments:
Oh Amy, you are such a good mom! I don't know if I can help. The only thing I can suggest is slowly get rid of the naps. None of my kids took naps after they turned 3yrs. Old. Then maybe she will go to sleep at night. I've never been one to force my kids to take naps, or even have a set schedule of when to take naps. I just let them sleep when they sleep. That's why I'm not much help. Sorry. I do know from having 5 kids that some kids realy don't need as much sleep as others.
We didn't force naps after age three either; They would have 'quiet time' where they had to lay quietly watching a movie (not an exciting one) or look at books, but again, quietly. If they fell asleep, fine, but I didn't let them nap more than 1 1/2-2 hours, (and I NEVER let them nap after 5pm!). Jacob really struggled getting to sleep as a child; we got him Harry Potter on CD, and he would listen every night before he went to bed.
Their little minds are going so fast that they need something soothing to get them to wind down, a back rub, singing, music; try different things out to see what helps her relax. I am sure she feeds off of your frustration and that keeps her keyed up as well.
Ditto to what Monica said, some kids don't need as much sleep as others. I would check into her diet as well, you mentioned that she was being extra picky in her eating, that makes a huge difference in anyone's attitude:).
Oh boy. You already know I have very strong feelings about naps. :) Pediatricians recommend that 3 year old children get 12 hours of sleep. That being said, the beauty of being a mom is that you get to make the decisions. Every mother is different and has different priorities, personalities and needs. You just need to decide what is best for you and your family and follow your gut. I will share with you my experiences, but keep in mind that only you know what it best for your family.
My kids start their bedtime routine at 7:00 and are usually in bed by 7:30-8:00. We rarely deviate from the "routine" because it throws everyone off if we do. My kids always wake up around 6:00-6:30 in the morning. Even if we've been traveling and don't get to bed until midnight...they still wake up that early. Nothing can change it. Sorry sweetheart, I think that you are just going to have to deal with that one. They just get alarm clocks built in their bodies that they can't change. As for naps, we wouldn't be surviving without them. I am the mean mommy you were talking about. I am SUPER strict about them staying in their rooms and going to sleep. Not just because I wouldn't function without the break, but because they don't function when they are overtired. Tanner has night terrors every time he doesn't get enough sleep during the day. It happens every time. And they have a harder time falling asleep at night and we have meltdowns galore if naps are missed. Personally, I think cutting out the naps would make it worse. And my pediatrician told me that ADHD problems are worse when they haven't had enough rest. As for solutions, you just have to be tricky and firm. All of my kids have gone through stages where they try to get out of their naps even though they are dead tired. Sometimes I end up sleeping on their floor until they fall asleep and get back into the habit. Sometimes I offer a reward such as playing a game with them or giving them ice cream after they wake up if they go right to sleep. And sometimes I'm mean and take away privledges and have even grounded them. I know it sounds mean, but it is that important to me that our family is well rested and in good moods that I insist on it. You could try playing soothing music, covering the windows so light doesn't come in and of course have a routine that is the same every single day that you never deviate so she knows exactly what to expect. If I let my kids have a picnic or eat out etc... before naps instead eating lunch in their normal spot and following the routine as we do every day then our nap time struggles and we are all thrown off. I've found that kids thrive off of consistency and schedules.
As I said before, this is just my opinion. Just pray about it and Heavenly Father will help you know what is best for your family. It may take some experimenting and not every day will be perfect, but this will pass and everything will turn out just fine. I hope that this didn't stress you out even more. Good luck, I love you Aim!
Well I'm not going to be any help because I'm so screwed up with my own opinions, lol. Mainly because I think every child, stage of life, situation, etc. is so different. I'll ditto what's already been said about you being the mother and knowing what is best for your child... pray for guidance and inspiration. You're an amazing mommy, love you!!
Have you considered taking her to an ENT or a sleep specialist? A lot of children struggle with sleep due to sleep apnea and getting a tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy can make a tremendous difference. I had a friend whose baby had sleep issues and they tried everything, it turned out she had restless leg syndrome. It's hard to know exactly what the issue is because you, too, are asleep.
Before you go to bed, listen to her breathing while sleeping. If she snores or pauses/chokes (apneic pauses), she may need her tonsils removed.
Amy!!! Dan & I have been struggling with the exact same thing with Journee for quite some time now. It bugs me so bad to know that she is not getting the kind of sleep she needs. I seriously have no good recommendations, because I can't figure it out myself!!!!! If you find ANYTHING that works for you, please please please let me know!!!!! :) Love you guys!
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